Handling College Decisions

Illustration courtesy: Suzie Kim

Rejection is a common reality for seniors applying to universities, a reality that many should try to accept. Nonetheless, understanding this reality doesn’t make rejection any easier to cope with. As seniors, we may become fairly emotional during this period. Underclassmen and even close friends may feel the need to tip-toe around asking the burning question: Did you get in?

Thus, before this period comes, I have listed various scenarios and appropriate reactions that may help both underclassmen and seniors when college results come out.

Scenario 1 (Seniors): I got accepted but my best friend didn’t. How do I react?

Firstly, congratulate yourself! You shouldn’t feel guilty for being accepted because of your friend’s rejection. That being said, as a good friend you may find yourself being less talkative about your excitement and joy in front of that person out of respect for their feelings. Always remember to remain empathetic and self-aware, as rejection never feels good, instead of letting your friend remain by themselves (unless they ask to), stick by their side with words of encouragement. Remind them that that was only 1 result out of 14 applications and that their self-worth will never be determined by their college rejections. If you have time, go shopping or go karaoke to take your mind off of college

Scenario 2 (Seniors): I got rejected but my best friend got accepted. How do I deal with this?

I think the most important part is to realize that it’s okay to be envious of others’ success. You can think ‘I wish I got accepted as well’ and still be happy for your friend. It’s when you start feeling resentment toward your friend’s success that you should take a step back, take a moment to collect yourself and reflect on what you are feeling at the moment. In times of stress and anguish, humans are prone to irrational behaviors, behaviors that may end up hurting your friend in the process. Taking some time alone and working on creating a positive mindset will not only help you maintain your relationships but also allow you to move on to regular applications more quickly.

Scenario 3 (Underclassmen): I know a senior who applied to college. Should I ask them about their results?

The answer to this question truly depends on how close you are to the senior, if this is a senior that is comfortable with speaking about their personal life to you, then sure. Shoot them a message asking ‘Did your results come out?’. A message in my opinion would be a better choice because it doesn’t require much emotional effort to reply back with an answer. Doing things face-to-face is always more intimidating and emotional. Also, as excited as you may be to hear the reply don’t ask more than once, if the senior was rejected the last thing on their mind would be wanting to reply to chat messages.